who the fuck comes up with these ridiculous fucking myspace features? I get about 5 app invites fucking DAILY from all these assholes asking me to join their coven or pet their cat or some shit. listen, dirt bag, i'm not adding the app. I'm not going to play poker with you shit face. I tried going on my aunt's myspace just to say hi her fucking page CRASHED MY BROWSER. fucking shit now there's a new feature that lets you see your friend's past updates. I really don't a fuck if you ate at 3 and took a massive dump at 5. Also, you fucking morons STOP REPLACING YOUR NAMES WITH IDIOTIC SONGS LYRICS. I'm trying to search for Pepe Gonzalez. i should be able to type in his name (or cock mongler) and find him, not "Please don't worry too much
It only hurts when I breathe" goddamn it fucking loser you're not poetic you piece of shit. It also makes my blood boil when a profile is set to private and the moron's profile has this under their headline: . Listen, you waste of space, no one is trying to stalk you and no one gives a fuck. It's just myspace you fucking idiot what's the point of having one if it's going to be private. assface.

Speaking of things that piss me off, today i was on the bus and as always it was stuffed up the ass with smelly gross people and this two bitches get one with 2 kids and a big ass fucking stroller. anyway, barf bag #1 starts fucking crying really loud. the mom, being one of those stupid moms, says "Tommy, tommy, stop crying. Stop crying tommmy." and then barf bag #2 drops her fucking ball and starts yelling "MY BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL" and starts crying too. fucking shit. If they were my kids i'd wait til i got home and smack the living shit out the little shits for embarrasing me and ruining my day. if your children aren't disciplined enough to behave in the fucking bus, you have failed as a parent and your children should be taken away and used as cheap labor. We'd save the government money and with this recession, we really need it.

BABIES BABIES BABIES!.

goddamn it man. Everyone is having children. Do you know how angry that makes me? That means more crying, whiny, annoying punk ass bitches will be running around with their sticky hands staring at me at restaurants and stinking up the place. Let's start with exhibit A:


In fact, she looks like another crazy multi baby bitch:



This bitch has 14 kids now and doesn't have a job and gets welfare. When the fuck is the government (and doctors) gonna say "nuh uh bitch fuck you and the horse you rode in on now go get a job". I don't have much to say about this bitch cuz i could write a whole novel but fuck i think i hate humans (especially mothers and childern) even more. What kind of shit is this? Isn't anyone thinking this bitch is gonna breed some crazy fucking kids? and i know this bitch has an obsession with Angelina Jolie. Fuck damn it that should be reason enough to get checked by a damn therapist.

Exhibit B:
This punk ass 13 year old just became a father too. his name is Alfie Patten (google this shit if you've been under a rock). Some priest is saying we shouldn't point fingers and shit but i say shut the fuck up old preacher man it's their fault. at 13 i knew very well that sex led to unwanted disgusting babies and i knew all about condoms (then again, my intelligence was so superior i made a radio out of petroleoum jelly, a sock, and a tennis ball) you know why? because my mom wasn't an ignorant fuck and actually talked to me about this shit. I know this little shit lives in England but i think all bible thumpers should get a fucking clue. Either we sexually educate teenagers' faces off or throw condoms at them at random intervals. Also, the government should tie the tubes of any bitch who has a kid under the age of 18 and also makes sure that the fathers get neutered or some shit. They'll be saving lives and millions of dollars of welfare. While we're at it, we take away the child if they already have one. I don't give a fuck if the grandparents are taking care of them. The last thing we need is another generation of dipshits. When i was in high school i hated every bitch that walked around with her huge stomach that contained her evil humanoid alien. Bitch, your lack of common sense isn't cute and no i'm not gonna coo at your stomach. retard.

People are retards

and because of them we can't have kick ass movies because someone gets butthurt and makes a protest because they were "offended". Which is why we have half assed "horror" movies. Everyone is so easily scared and insulted by the sight of blood or some shit and they get angry and walk out the theatre. listen, if you're a pussy and can't handle fake ghosts or some shit DON'T SEE THE MOVIE SHIT BRAINS. Anyway, i saw Hounddog yesterday which was made in 2007 but wasn't released until now because of the rape scene between then 12 Dakota Fanning and some milk man dude with a fucked up face or some shit. Anyway, i saw this movie and was obviously not amused because you know what's going to happen since many people, including Dakota Fanning fans protested this film because of the rape scene. so anyway, the rape scene comes up. 5 seconds later, it's over. I wanted to scissor kick all the idiots who protested it in the back of the head. It's not even graphic. and there's people calling it child abuse. HELLO ASSHOLES. CHILD ABUSE HAPPENS EVERY FUCKING DAY, NOT JUST IN MOVIES. why weren't there any people protesting the protesters with signs that read "Get a job asshole" or something. Fucking moral crusadors and family value advocates (both translate to bible thumpers) always have something they got to oppose or else they're not happy. It's like they forget Catholic priests tend to have wandering hands around children.

Another thing, why is it that everything now has a fucking coalition againt defamation or something? goddamn sensitive motherfuckers I'm just waiting for the National Coalition against Defamation against Douchebags contacts me to say that douchebags are people too and should not be insulted. Fucking shit people are stupid.

Adventures in public transportation

Being that i don't have a car, i have to take a bus to school (community college. don't laugh at me. don't call me names. don't get your pleasure from my pain. in god's eyes we're all the same. someday we'll all have perfect wings...don't laugh at me... AHAHAHAHA ASSHOLES LIKE I EVEN GIVE A FUCK WHAT YOU THINK) the public bus. I just want you guys to know that public transportation is like a death sentence. So i take my first bus on mondays at 6:45. It's relatively empty except for the few elderly people. Then we go pick up a girl. A girl with a yellow shirt. She jumps in all stupid and the driver is like "HEEEY!" cuz she didn't pay or anything and she turns around and says "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?" in the most squeaky voice. BITCH PAY THE FUCKING FARE. NO ONE WANTS TO LOOK AT YOU. Then i get to my stop and get on the second bus (yeah, our public transport system sucks so much we need 2 different buses for everything, those assholes!) that takes me straight to the college and it's always ALWAYS stuffed to the ass with people and there's a bunch of elderly people staring at with so much hate. First of all where the fuck are these old people going so fucking early? anyway, no matter how many people there already are the driver always decides that there's room for more. So he/she stops at every stop picking up more people that smell like cabbage and onions and keeps going and most of them can't drive worth shit. I always have to stand and have trouble keeping my balance because the asshole bus driver decides to go really fast and jerk to a stop, sending me flying through people and causing ugly bitches in mini skirts and heels to give me the side eye. oh! and in each new street or stop or some shit the driver announces where we are. most of them mumble where we are so it sound like *click*"wjge aaare newhbnjoooow in re-*heavy breathing*"*click* WHAT? speak the fuck louder. Goddamn it and there's always some asshole who didn't take a shower and smells like ass and sweat fuck i always get nauseated from the smell of ass, axe, cheap floral body spray, and 2 day old sweat.